Its been two long weeks full of highs and lows. Why is it one can go for months with nothing uneventful, or remotely interesting happening and then all of a sudden bam, it all hits you at once like a speeding train. No secret my father died 5 months ago to the day. As if his passing wasn't difficult enough it has been a painstaking task trying to settle his affairs. Finally getting the courage to clean out his house, sort through his things, fix up his home to sell... it just goes on an on making closure next to impossible. This week we sold his beloved boat- his dream, it was to big and massive for either my sister or I to keep and maintain, so up for sale it went and with in a week someone else bought his dream. I have mixed emotions about this, while it is one step closer to closure, I cant help but feel that I just lost a piece of him all over again. Tonight out to dinner with some family I mentioned we sold the boat, forgetting that I had not yet told my son, I watched him also loose all over again. He cried as he told our company about all his good times on the boat with his grampie. Tonight when I tucked him he asked if he would ever stop missing him, I told him it is a blessing that he even has the memories that make missing him possible...
So I will continue on this journey of mourning, enduring the highs and lows.
To my Nana who worries about me putting such 'personal stuff out there"- its cheaper then a therapist. ( Gonna go now, I am very excited Betty white is on SNL- who doesn't love Betty White)
1 comment:
I hope Betty White was able to put as much joy into your life last nite as she did for me. I found myself howling at practically everything she said or did.
You were so right to tell your son that missing your dad is part of building memories. I hope your memories will continue to be positive and enriching.
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