Goodbye cousin

When I was little, despite being separated by 4 states my cousin and I managed to be thick as thieves. When we did get together it usually meant bunking out on my grandparents pull out sofa, laughing into the late night, stealing snacks from the fridge, and making pinkie promises to always be Best buds, best cousins. I have a shoe box of letters she mailed when we were apart. One such letter describes how she told her friends at school she had another sister,(that would be me) that was being raised in another state by her Uncle. It was a lie, it wasn't right but I felt so proud that she would call me her sister. Over the years being states apart we grew apart. I cant even begin to describe the differences in our two communities/cultures her from the city me from the country we took different roads, made different decisions. It hurts now to think about how far we drifted apart. No fighting, no disagreements, just two people moving on in different directions. After loosing my father I thought about her often and had tentative plans to go see her this spring. Sadly however there will be no reunion this spring as my dear cousin only a month older then myself passed away unexpectedly this week. It has been a tough weekend. I have spent a good part of my weekend sitting on my bed the box full of letters, and albums full of pictures, the sweet memories and echos of us planning pranks to play on my sister and her brothers, discussing boys, our futures... I will miss you Bridgett!